The Long Road Home and the Tooth Fairy gets some help…

22 May

So…I’ve been gone from BC for awhile.  It’s been an eventful while.  One very bad thing happened and I ended up going home after 7 years.

Pull up a chair, this is gonna be a long one….

Backtracking a bit…  Every year in the Spring we put back money (and try to use Tax Return money) for me and Than to “try” to get back to Texas to visit family/friends.  It never works out.  Why?  Because every stinking Spring since we moved to Phoenix the price of gas goes thru the freaking roof.  Seriously…it was 3.00 a gallon when we started saving and was nearly $4.00 a gallon when time came to go.  Which rose airfare far too high and driving not feasible.

So, yet another opportunity passes us by and we can’t go.  I usually get a consolation prize outta this each year (using the money we saved) and this year was no exception.  This year I got a Kindle Fire.  I love it with all that is in me.  I play Words with Friends and Draw Something like my life depended on it.  I read USAToday on it, download books with the intention of reading (something about holding a book in my hand is still far more appealing), and watch Netflix movies on it.  I love my Kindle Fire like it’s a 2nd child.  It’s currently being called “My Precious“.  Every once in a while I let Than play Angry Birds on it, and sometimes I let G gaze on it from across the room.

Anyway, the decision had been made not to go back to Texas and the saved money was spent.  I was supposed to go to the wedding of a very, very dear girl (she’s 37, but will always be a girl to me) that I was a nanny to (along with her sister and brother) when I was 19-20.  Her mom is absolutely one of the best people I know and I consider the mom to be one of my best, dearest (pick an adjective that means really good things) people in my life.  Ever.  So not being able to go to this wedding was heartbreaking.  No Kindle Fire or shopping trip was going to make me feel better about it at all.

Then a nightmare happens.  I get a call at 3:30am on a Saturday morning from my mom telling me my cousin fell off the back of her Harley and was run over by a friend who was unable to stop in time.  My cousin wasn’t expected to live.  And I couldn’t get home.  A lot of things happened (that I won’t go into) and a friend GIVES me the money to go.  She, out of the blue, wrote me online asked if she could put the money in my bank acct so I could go home.  God works in mysterious ways.  You have no idea how much we are thankful for the friend who did this for us.

So Than and I packed up and went to Texas.  We went to the hospital (Than had to stay in waiting room while I went into ICU) and I was able to see/pray/etc with my cousin.  In.Tears.  But the fact that she was still alive 2 weeks after that accident and her liver that was nearly in 2 had started repairing itself was a miracle.  Lots of things happened – all miraculous, but this blog is not the time or place for all that occurred.  Suffice it to say we were all able to witness a miracle.  Shelly is alive.  And she’s currently in a rehab, long term facility awake, knows who she is and who everyone else is and she can speak (around her trach for now), has just started to stand and take baby steps and is 100% herself.  That accident was a horrible accident.  The fact that she lived is all due to God’s intervention.  So many lives have been touched by this horrible accident, you wouldn’t believe how many people are giving God the glory for all this.  And He richly deserves it because only God could have saved her AND brought her out of this completely herself.  One of these days I’ll start a seperate journal and share all that happened on this trip – it’s truly amazing.

We also got to go to the wedding.  The best part was the Saturday before the wedding, my friend Linda and I set Colleen (the bride) up.  Lin went to Coll’s house to help with wedding stuff and after Lin got there I parked down a bit and sent Than to the front door to see if Coll would “buy Cub Scout popcorn.”  She apologized to him and said she couldn’t and I popped out around the corner and asked, “What about from me, could you buy some from me?”  I think the neighbors heard that scream.  She nearly choked me to death hugging me.  It was awesome.  Her wedding was so perfect, she was a beautiful bride and it was really good to see so many people from her family that I hadn’t seen in years.  And Than and I spent two fantastic days out at Lin’s place and it was perfection.

The other days we were there we spent at my friend, Debbie’s (THANK YOU DEBBIE!) who handed me her house keys and said, “whatever you need.”  (Than literally cried his eyes out when we left Debbies.  They are going to be Skype buddies.  He loves her sooo much!  Me, too.  I’ve been friends with her since I was 15).  We also spent the last 4 days at my best friend, Suzanne’s.  That was sooo much fun.  Suz’ boy, Benji was born 20 days before Than but we moved away when they were 2.  We had a great time staying at their house with Suz, her husband, daughter and Benji.  Than wants to go back so he can hang with Benji.  He actually wants to MOVE back but that’s not in the cards. LOL

Ok, about the Tooth Fairy ( I bet you’re wondering if I’d ever get to the crafting part of this crafting blog, eh?)….  So there’s a used curriculum/craft fair coming up and I bought a table to sell my wares at.  My wares.  Yeah.  Me.  Selling stuff I’VE made.  Should be scary.  I’ve decided to make a bunch of those tooth fairy pillows and sell them for $5.00 a pop.  They’re small and I can normally make 1 an hour.  Now if I only had an hour to make one.

It’s what I’ve been doing lately instead of typing on here.  I told myself I needed 50 by the time the fair rolls around in mid-June.  I currently have 20 made.  I had more but I gave 1 to my niece and 1 to my nephew (the ones that live here), 1 to Than and I have 1 set aside for my friends son.  OH and I have one that I’m going to send to Alaska for my friends little girl.  But I also want to make her a flower baby felt doll.  I’ll share those here after I get ‘em done.

For now, here’s some of the tooth fairy pillows:

     

When I make tooth fairy pillows to put on my Etsy shop, someone remind me to photograph them separately on a light background so you can see the colors better.  You’ll do that for me, right?

 

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PROJECT: Anime Box and rambling insanity

18 Apr

So, yeah…I suck, as in SUCK at drawing anime.  I give it a shot every once in a while and it’s worse than “badly”crafted.  It’s like someone gave a loaded paintbrush to one of those “smart” elephants and tries to tell you that the sloppy looking painted picture is something other than splashes of paint on a canvas.

Animal Handler:  “Look!  Harold the Wonder Elephant just painted the Mona Lisa!”

Me:  “Dude, that looks like the elephant held the brush in it’s trunk while you moved the canvas in circles.”

AH:  “No!  I didn’t move it in circles!”

Me:  “But you admit to moving the canvas as the elephant just stood there with a loaded paint brush in it’s trunk, right?”

AH:  “Well, yeah, but hey how many elephants out in the bush can paint?”

Me:  “How many elephants in the bush have had a loaded paintbrush handed to them?”

AH walks off grumbling about mouthy, smurf-lady who thinks she’s an art critic.

 

Um…where was I?  Oh yeah…anime and me sucking at it.  So, I’m under extreme stress right now with a bunch of crap going on.  Mostly it’s my very beloved cousin was in a terrible motorcycle accident in Texas and I’m trying to get my crap together for Than-the-man and I to drive out there.  Big Daddy can’t miss work so he can’t come.  He’s ok with that as he’s not the biggest fan of the best state in the world.  Psh!  Who needs him? Ok, so I do…

Um, where was I again?  Stop making me get off track people!  Yeah, I’m talking to you red haired guy with the glasses.  Stop making me get side-tracked.  And you, lady in the pj’s…it’s fricking 3 in the afternoon where you are…get up, get a shower, brush your teeth and go outside and live a little.  Spending all your time on the computer is not healthy.  There’s a whole world out there to explore!

(sigh)…see?  I’m so easily side tracked…remind me to tell you about the bank story….

Anyway, I can’t sleep.  Overly-anxious about getting to Texas just to be there. I LOVE my cousin.  She was my first hero.  I LOVE HER.  Have I mentioned how much I love her? So anyway I have this black box (it seems I paint all boxes black, eh?) and some really cool paint colors that I’ve picked up recently.  I decided to paint each side a different color and once that dries I’m gonna FORCE myself to perfect my anime drawing so that I can draw anime faces on each side – or I’ll just draw Pokemon type creatures on it.  Either way, I’m giving myself no way out of learning this stuff.

Here’s where I stand on the project as of now:

     

So there’s what all four colors are.  I left extra black space on the top as that’s where the box fits.  I haven’t measured off the sides of the box top yet so I can paint it like the sides with the thin black strip all the way around.  It’s late and I don’t want to attempt it.  I’m anxious, not insane.  There’s a difference buddy…slight, but still a difference.

And now, for something completely different (thank you Monty Python!)

Than and I went to the bank today.  For the 3rd time I’ve had to go in because they keep screwing up ordering our checks with the new address on it.  First time I went in, I changed the address and the banker ordered the checks for me (we get free ones with our acct.).  A week or so goes by, no new checks.  So I stop off in the bank and talk to a 2nd banker and he looks up my stuff and sees the address change but the 1st banker didn’t order the checks.  (sigh).  Ok so HE makes sure of the new address and orders my checks.  A week goes by.  I go to the mailbox and find the new box of checks! YAY!  Correct address on the outside of the box, but on the inside, the checks have the.old.address.

Really Wells Fargo?  You guys just can’t hire people to push buttons correctly or what?  So in the midst of all this very, very stressful time what with me getting a new disease (oh yeah, that’s Disease No. 4 for those keeping count), Shelly lying in ICU in Texas and me desperate to get there, I find that Wells Fargo bankers need lessons in how to push buttons correctly.

Today’s banker gets “Jen Who’s Had Enough And Is Completely Overwhelmed At This Point” (try fitting THAT on a business card!) She gets it all right and even calls the check printing company to make sure they are seeing the same info she’s showing in the  bank system.  Yep, it’s fixed.

Then I ask this banker, “Btw, where is Than’s Savings account money?  It’s showing a zero balance and we haven’t touched that account in over a year and it had at least $15.00 in it“.  She didn’t know.  No one can tell me.  I have their Research Dept figuring it out.

The banker chick then mentions this little gem to me:  “Btw, why aren’t you on your husbands Savings account?“

Me:  “I am.”

Banker:  “No, no you’re not.  And did you know that if anything happens to him you legally can’t touch the money? (it’s like $50.00)”

Me: “I am on that account.”

Banker:  “No, it shows right here he opened the account in 2008.”

Me:  (heavy sigh):  “No, I opened both the checking and the savings in Texas in 1999 the year we got married.”

Banker:  “We show you only opened a checking account.”

Me:  “Someone’s smoking crack and I can guarantee you it’s not me.“  She’s acting all conspirator-like…as if G was sneaking around on me opening up savings accounts and putting $50.00 in there.  So I call G at work and the 3 of us have this conversation that goes on and finally the Banker gets told by me and G that their dumb-ass bank made us switch our savings to a money market account in 2008 to avoid fees if we don’t keep a certain amount in the account.  She’s still denying that I opened a savings acct in Texas in 1999.

By this point (after we’ve hung up with G) I’m at the “I can’t take anymore stress” point.

So I snap.

COMPLETELY SNAP.

I don’t get mean.  I get goofy.  I just start laughing.  Hysterically.  Than’s sitting next to me, being a good boy the whole time this is all going on.  But then he sees me start to lose it and he gets mad.  At the banker.  And at Wells Fargo.  And my 9 year old son slams his hand down on her desk and GROWLS AT HER saying, “LOOK WHAT YOU GUYS DID!  YOU BROKE MY MOM!”  I am telling you right now – he REALLY DID THAT.

It made me laugh even harder.  It was so freaking funny.  I couldn’t stop laughing.  He got all momma bear protective.  He’s seen me take some pretty harsh hits lately with my health (esp. my health), this trip to Texas, etc., etc. and he just wants to wrap me in bubble wrap and not let anything else happen.  Meanwhile I have a target painted on me and people keep lobbing things at me.  I’m ok, though….God’s got my back.  And front.  But Than-the-man ain’t letting NOBODY mess with his mommy right now.

I had to make him apologize for freaking out the normal people.  Sometimes when we walk through stores and we do our normal weird stuff (Than’s Interpretive Dance in grocery stores is hysterically funny), I say, “Than stop…you’re freaking out the normal people.”  And we laugh our butts off.  But I have to teach him right from wrong and he had to know that growling at the banker wasn’t right.  She’s not the one who did it to me, it’s the bank as a whole.  I try hard to teach him to “never shoot the messenger”.

The kid’s getting an allowance raise though.

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PROJECT: Before & After Flower Wall

14 Apr

Blank wall above my desk

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Got the idea from this really great blog I found.  She offered up the idea and template to readers and I went for it.  I’d have loved to use paper like she did, but I only had these papers available to me.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll attempt to take a better “AFTER” picture…..This is “badlycrafted.com” not “badlyphotographed.com” , although it should always be assumed that anything I attempt is going to be crappy in some form or another.

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Creating a Monster…a sewing monster

5 Apr

ThanSews1stbluefish

What is this you ask?  This is Than’s first creation that he, personally, sewed.

Yesterday in an attempt to give him “something to do”,  I decided to teach him to sew.  I created a monster.  He now wants to sew all.the.time.  Yesterday he made three things (I’ll post pics of the other two in a minute) and told me that “I could sit here and sew all night!”  He’s decided that he just wants to sew, sew, sew.  He loves it.  LOVES it.  I’m so glad he loves it.

is the puffer fish he created.  I do the cutting out of the shapes, he sews together.  However on this one, I did sew the black spikes on because it would have been a nightmare (for me) to have him do it.  See, I’m in charge of cutting out the shapes (for now) and threading the needles.

Here’s his last project from last night:

  You even get a bonus of Than in the picture.  And, as an extra special bonus, Than doing his impersonation of Vanna White’s “flourish” move.   I hope that’s not patented.

Anyway…life’s been crazy since moving into the new place.  G, Than and I love it and are happily ignoring the boxes still sitting in the dining room.  You know the dining room that’s supposed to serve three purposes:  Eating place, School room and Craft room.  Eventually we’ll get those boxes taken care of.  Mostly they are full of G’s music cd’s, Than’s school stuff and my craft stuff.  We just need to get organized.

As if.

I’m busy sewing Tooth Fairy Pillows for a book fair coming up (bought a table and everything!) so I can sell them.  Then I’ll put the remainder up on my Etsy shop.  My goal is to make 50.  So far I’ve made 12.  I have 6 weeks to make the rest.  Ummmmm…

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PROJECT: Tooth Fairy Pillows and other ramblings

21 Mar

Tooth Fairy Pillows

This is my latest effort to make money for Than’s 4th Grade curriculum.  I’ll be making scads of these pillows and selling them on my Etsy store and at the Used Curriculum Book Sale in June.  I’m considering putting a ribbon on top for them to hang from the door, but not sure yet as ribbon is freaking expensive and I’m freaking broke.

I need to put a disclaimer up when I’m selling that “Of course these are handmade by the idiot at badlycrafted.com.  It ain’t named that because I’m trying to be humble.  It’s actually truth in advertising.  You get what you pay for.  A $5.00 pillow that holds a tooth in pocket at the top and a place for money in the bottom pocket.  No two are alike unless asked for and all sewing is iffy.”  Wonder if I can fit that on a business card….hmmm.

I’m going to attempt to make friendship bracelets that have actual clasps on them, too and sell them for $3.00 -$4.00 each (depending on final costs after making them).  Make a lot, sell for cheap and hope people are so excited by how inexpensive they are that they’ll overlook the bad craftsmanship.  Wonder if I should put THAT on a card?  Hmmm….

Friends have been trying to help me come up with ideas of crafts to make and sell at the book sale.  I’m getting far too many suggestions that require some level of skill.  Honestly, don’t these people actually KNOW me?  They’ve seen the work first hand.  They know it’s crap.  Maybe they hope that if I make a bunch of something that eventually I’ll get good at it.  I’m the opposite.  I just get worse as I go on because I fret over each stitch and try to change it …sometimes on the same project which makes things uneven.  At least I’m having a good time doing it.

Heck, even my dentist put up one of the Tooth Fairy pillows on his FaceBook page saying it was cute.  He must really want me to come in and get that filling… ;)   (I love my dentist and his entire staff, btw.  They put up with my weirdness).

Oh!  I haven’t mentioned the “move”.  We moved into a better place and the moving company was FAN-FLIPPING-TASTIC.  Phoenix Valley people – I solemnly swear that I will never use another moving company (if I can help it) other than www.alwaysprofessionalmoving.com ever again.  They were awesome.  Above and beyond.  No creepy criminal types – just guys that worked fast and efficiently.  Didn’t draw things out to make more money – they don’t work that way.  As a matter of fact they hustle the whole time and get your stuff moved as fast and as safe as possible.  They are soooo good that you have to book ahead.  Like way ahead because people know how great they are.  Just thought I’d add my .02 to let you guys know what a great company they are.  And no I don’t get squat for this little recommendation.  They don’t even know I’m doing it.  I’m all about word-of-mouth when I find a really great deal.

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Modge Podge Addictions begin….

15 Mar

I’m trying to motivate myself into blogging more often.  I have become quite the slacker in recent months.  Ok, so I’ve always been a slacker (a preemptive SHUT UP to my brothers who probably don’t even know I HAVE a blog…), but I haven’t taken the time to post here at badlycrafted.com that I should have in recent months.

So what made me blog today?  A 5 Hour Energy drink along with a bottle diet Mt. Dew for starters.  And then my friend, Sarah, did something clever and I thought I’d share it.

I’m always looking for ways to ‘art’ things up.  And most of the stuff that people take for granted (as in “oh I’ve been doing that forever!”), I’ve never thought of.  Anyway, I’m rambling here…why don’t you people stop me from rambling?  And by people I mean my mom because she’s probably the only person that still reads this blog (hi Mom!).

Ok so Sarah put up something on FaceBook and I asked her for pictures so I could share it here because I just thought it was very clever.  She  took an old Altoids tin and made it into a purse-sized first aid kit.  She’s been bitten by the modge podge bug in the act of doing this.  Welcome to the addiction, Sarah…soon you’ll be searching for things and reasons to use modge podge.  Oh hey, btw, I found a recipe for making homemade modge podge.  I’ll have to make some and test it and if it works I’ll share it here at badlycrafted.com.

Here’s what Sarah made (and yes she knows I’m putting this up here.  I only ambush Than with non-permission type posts here):

So cute and clever!  Makes me want to go buy Altoids and make one myself.  I like the cute little graphics she put on the top.  I’d probably mess it up trying to add fake fur and something sparkly.  I’m seriously going to do this though.

Thanks Sarah for such a clever idea and a reason to break out the modge podge (and for letting me put it up here).  Its an addiction that never goes completely away, you just run out of things to use it on. LOL  I’m trying to convince G that I need to modge podge things onto his computer monitor.  He’s not buying it.  Party pooper thy name is G!

So now that Sarah is into the whole MP thing, I wonder….we could be MP buddies.  Randomly MPing things… Until one day we take it too far…like how I’m about to go off into one of my weird (yes I realize I’m weird.  I own that) “what if” rants….

NEWS FLASH

Newscaster:  “…and finally, police have caught the ‘alleged’ criminals who’ve been modge podging things all over the Valley.  The crime spree started small with city STOP signs having “…in the name of love…” glued underneath the word STOP on the signs and progressed until Police cars were being covered in flower wallpaper and pages from Martha Stewart Living magazine.  Apparently one of the criminals is obsessed with that magazine.

As the criminals, two Valley women, were being led away in handcuffs the short, smurf-like one was screaming, “BUT we were just trying to make things PRETTY!”.  We’re told that a psych evaluation will need to be done on that one.  The other criminal gave a bit of trouble as well when she started yelling, “Don’t you know who I am?  I’m THE NEW BOX TOP FAIRY!  I’M FAMOUS I TELL YOU…FAMOUS!”  Both women appear to have been breathing in too many modge podge fumes for far too long. 

We’ll keep you up to date as more is learned about this bizarre crime spree.”

Sarah will never speak to me again after this one….

;)

 

 

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Yeah, yeah…I haven’t posted in a while but there’s good reason

5 Mar

Eventually, after we move tomorrow and get unpacked, etc., I will get back to blogging here on BC.  I love my blog and the insanity I create.

Unfortunately, life has hit real, true insanity and I have been unable to do anything but keep my head down and put one foot in front of the other and push thru each day.

A quick Reader’s Digest version of the BCWorld right now:

Rented new apt that friends where moving out of (still in same place we live now, but back in townhouse part), had funny feeling to check on things since apt. office had already cashed our check (we were due to move April 1st).  Went in last Monday and found out that after they’d promised us, guaranteed us, and said, “Don’t worry it’s all handled!” they’d given the townhouse to someone else.  They’d cashed our check first and our name was down first for this place (our friend was leaving behind some stuff for us, too).

I went ballistic and Mgmt found us another one in nice location, etc and it’s same style but $20.00 cheaper for some reason.  The problem was that instead of moving next month we have to move NOW.  As in now.  As in “OH DEAR LORD WE HAVE TO MOVE NOW!”.

While packing Than’s room for our this coming Thursday move (this is last Thursday I’m talking about when I say I was packing Than’s room), I discovered that the inside of part of his closet had a soaking wet floor.  The BRAND SPANKING NEW water heater had given up the ghost.  I went outside to the storage closet and saw that not only was there water everywhere (why check outside when we don’t store stuff out there anymore as we’ve had water heater problems FIVE FREAKING TIMES between us and the upstairs guys) there was black mold on the walls.  EVERYWHERE.  Not “black mold” black mold.  Just black in color.

Called Mgmt.  YELLED.  Seriously – I’m fairly laid back these days…hey, I’m getting old, I finally mellowed out a bit…  They came right down and got the water heater to stop spewing water (oh yes they will be paying part of this water bill…they just don’t know it yet) and called carpet company.  Last Friday morning while I was at dentist the carpet guys came.  Than and I came home to a house reeking like mold/mildew and found a gigantic fan and a gigantic dehumidifier with a hose snaking thru the house to Than’s bathroom sitting ON TOP of the wet carpet blowing into the wall inside Than’s closet.  The carpet guys did that.  Called Mgmt.  Maint. Supervisor came down, shook his head (he’s my buddy, btw), pulled the machines off the wet carpet, moved the carpet and discovered they hadn’t even removed all of the soaked padding.  He pulled it up, went and called the carpet company and chewed them out.

Meanwhile, I went into my room to see if they’d been in there to check and see if my carpet had been affected (we share a wall with Than’s closet).  Apparently they had come in my room because the drawer where I keep my medicine bottles had been tampered with and my one med bottle (the narcotics) had been opened and moved.  1, maybe 2 pills missing.  I booby-trap that drawer to make sure no one (esp. Than, but he knows better) gets in there.  I try to hide my pills because they are so dangerous.  So next level up of mgmt in Carpet company comes and I let them know about the pills.  They fix things, spray things, remove things and leave.  They are not allowed in my apt. without Apt. Mgmt here with them from now on.

Meanwhile, Than tells me he’s getting a headache.  My throat and lungs starting to burn.   Mtc buddy comes and sprays Tilex Mold and Mildew remover and it works.  But Than and I are feeling crappy.  AND on top of all that we have a fundraiser (for scouts) that we have to leave for at 4 o’clock because I did the 15 table centerpieces.  Which means I have to transport those.  Here’s a picture of what I made (it was pirate themed):

Image

Btw, here’s a pic of Than and I at the Blue & Gold fundraiser (our pack did GREAT this year!):

Image  Apparently he was thrilled to pose for this picture.

I’d also said I’d paint some pictures of pirate type things and put them on the walls.  Well, I’d called the Apt. mgmt and said, “It’s a good thing I like you guys or I’d be suing the heck out of you right now.”   Then I grabbed my paints and poster board and sat on the kitchen floor to paint stuff.  15 minutes later someone was knocking on the front door.  Than let in the apt. mgr (new), the head of facilities and my friend the mtc supe.  They made amends, etc and now instead of moving this coming Thursday, we’re moving tomorrow.

…and here I sit typing out this madness instead of packing.  However, in my defense I’ve already done quite a bit of work.  The movers will be here tomorrow afternoon and all I have left to do (for THEM to move) is pack the kitchen and my craft area.  I say that like it’s going to be a breeze.  Well, it will be if all I do is throw things in a box and not sort it out.  Apparently that’s what I intend to do.  Otherwise I wouldn’t be here typing this.

The movers are cool as they told us not to bother unloading our dresser drawers as they will just shrink wrap the furniture and the drawers can stay full as long as they can close all the way.  I love that.  I’ll give a review of them tomorrow after the move.

So, in a nutshell life is nuts. Har har..meh…not funny at all.  Not even remotely clever.  Oh geez, I’m losing my touch.  So much stress has cost me my comedy!  My FB updates are full of my attempts at getting an Oscar in the “Whiney Cry Baby/Woe Is Me” category and now my blog is depressing. ugh.

That’s it, I’m watching old Jerry Lewis/I Love Lucy/Three Stooges movies until my “funny” comes back.  Um…that’s not really my idea of comedy…hmmm…I’m sarcastic and I make fun of myself…Maybe I’ll just go back and re-read this blog from the beginning to see where I’ve gone so wrong.

I’ll be back once we’re all settled in.  Until then…keep crafting, stop whining and learn to laugh at yourself.

A Haiku

15 Feb

I have been lazy

My blog goes unattended

Slacker, Jen’s thy name.

 

Yup…that about says it all.  I’m not really “lazy” (who am I kidding?), it’s just been super busy around Casa de BC lately.  Within the next 6 weeks I have 3 fundraisers that have to have my input in some shape or form.  One is easy – I just have to make table decorations for 15 tables.  The others I’m responsible in all ways for.  Ugh.

Also within the next 6 weeks we are moving (which means packing needs to be done), I need to conduct school for Than, AND we’re planning vacation (leaving on April 20 something…).  And to top things off, poor little Than has a double ear infection and we all have nasty colds.  Than never tells us when somethings wrong – he’s stoic like his daddy.  So while treating his cold I’m completely unaware that his ears are bugging him until he finally comes up to me and says, “Mommy, I think I should probably go to the dr.  My ears have been plugged for days and I think I need to go in.”

Um, HELLO?  His ears have been plugged for days and he’s just now telling me?  So I take him in (after talking to him and stressing how important it is that he tells Daddy and I when something’s not right, and how it’s better to tell us early before things get too bad.) and find out the poor little guy has a double ear infection.  He’s currently enjoying all the smothering he’s receiving and the fact that I’ve called off school 2 days in a row since he wasn’t feeling great.

And in typical Jen fashion I’ve gone overboard in the care department:

“Oh!  My poor baby child needs a tissue!  Here 9 year old boy child, please let me hold the tissue while you blow!“

and

“Oh!  My poor baby child doesn’t feel well, let me make 123423859723 cookies because adding sugar filled calories will make him feel oh so much better!”  (he’s a big fan of this one)

and finally,

“Oh!  The BABY IS SICK!  WE MUST GIVE IN TO HIS EVERY WHIM!  Camp outs in the living room with Mommy?  CHECK!  Not eating his veggies at dinner?  CHECK! (they make him gag, the poor sick baby child!) New Skylander figures to help him get through these brutal days of unwellness?  CHECK (that’s all Daddy on that one).

He’s milking this for all it’s worth.  In the big scheme of things, we’re good with it though.  He’s rarely sick and he’s a great kid.  It’s not like he’s asking for completely unreasonable stuff (as I hand him my car keys, bank card and a note saying he can buy whatever he wants)….

Now…if someone would just give me the same treatment as my cold is not getting any better and it’s moving towards the chesticle region….

I will NOT get sick

I will NOT get sick

I will NOT get sick

Who am I kidding, I’m already sick, but Mom’s have to play the Martyr Card and I’m on that trip currently.  I’ll have an Academy Award winning collapse as soon as Than’s better.  It will include swooning, followed by a graceful faint onto the couch.  Yeah, I can see it now.

In reality it will involve lots of tissues, hot tea and whining.  Follow that by G who comes home from work and drags me kicking and screaming to the doctor because he’s sick of the texts that say, “I’m sick.”  ”I’m soooo sick.”  ”I feel like death warmed over.”  ”If I felt any better I could upgrade to death.”

 

It’s good to be me.

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PROJECT: Black Box 2 gets 1st place love…

24 Jan

I’m completely sick of these 2 black boxes sitting on my table making me feel guilty that I don’t paint anything on them.  I can almost hear them mocking me:

BlackBox 1:  “Hey Loser, think you might wanna pick up one of those paint brushes and you know, PAINT me?”

BlackBox 2:  “Don’t call her a Loser, man.  She’s been busy.  See Jen? I got your back.  Remember me when it’s time to paint, ok?”

BB1:  “Yeah, remember the brown-noser sucking up to you.  It’s completely disgraceful what some boxes would do to get attention these days.”

BB2:  “I’m ignoring you!”

BB1:  ”Yeah I bet you are…hey tell your mom I said hi.”

BB2:  “What?  You don’t know my mom!”

BB1:  “Sure I do…she’s something else, that mom of yours.  A Ritz cracker box, right?  She’s hot…gives all new meaning to ‘Puttin’ on the Ritz’…”

BB2:  “DON’T TALK ABOUT MY MOM LIKE THAT YOU PIECE OF PULP!  I WILL GET YOU, I’LL THROW WATER ON YOU WHILE YOU SLEEP!  SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN BUDDY….YOUR WOODY BUTT IS MINE!…I’LL…I’LL…”

(Jen walks over and picks up BB2 and says, “Well you look like a nice box and you need to be painted.  That other box gives me the creeps.  Did you know that underneath that black paint he’s got pink and purple hearts?  Really icky girlie!“)

BB2:  (smugly looking over at BB1)  ”Well, well, well….who’s got ammunition now?  Eh, My Little Pony Box?“

BB1:  (hangs head in shame)

Yes, I know…I need serious psychological help.  That’s a given…

Here’s some progress pics of Box 2:

        

So yeah, when I penciled these designs on the box I thought they looked so cool.  Then I painted them and now I think, “Man, I got carried away.  One design on each side would have been sufficient, but no I had to go curly-q crazy.”

(sigh)

badlycrafted.com indeed

The worst part?  I don’t think it’s “done”. I think the top (first pic) needs some pink on it.  I have to give it a day or so to try to contain the impulse to go too crazy.

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Another black box, mental block, artistic envy and Than’s old

17 Jan

So I painted another box black:

And still no clue as to what to put on either one.  Yes I want to put tons of things on them but I don’t want to go all amateur (my normal M.O.) and junk it up.  I want it to be pretty.  Or cool. Mostly cool.  There’s some kind of block in the way.  I’m fairly certain it’s this cold I’ve been rocking for a week now.  Moderately icky is the best way to describe how I feel.  Add in the syringomyelia crap and you have one grouchy, sickly Jen.  Oh, I forgot whiny…definitely whiny.

So anyway, I went over to www.deviantart.com and started browsing around, desperate for inspiration.  Then somehow I ran across this polymer clay artist who blew me away.  I want to be her when I grow up.  Her work is probably some of the best artistic ANYTHING I’ve ever seen. I’m all gushy and girlie about it.  Artist-crush, thy name is Jen.

Here’s some links to her stuff.  She doesn’t know me.  I’m secretly stalking her right now (and sending people her way because I think everyone needs to own her stuff).

Her Etsy shop:  http://www.etsy.com/shop/MandarinMoon?page=1&show_panel=true&order=date_desc

and her stuff on DeviantArt:  http://mandarinmoon.deviantart.com/gallery/

Yes, I border on “creepy” when I find new artists that I like.  But hey, if someone’s getting free advertising and making sales, I say, LET ME STALK! ;)

(ftr, I don’t really stalk, I’m just really good at promoting good art.)

In other news, I keep telling Than his 9th birthday is THIS coming Sunday.  It’s not.  It’s the following one.  January 29th.  I suck at calendar stuff and math.  Ok, and obviously all this crafting stuff, but that should go without saying at this point.

So Than is turning 9 and I am completely unprepared.  G keeps asking if Than is 18 yet and I keep wanting to swaddle him in baby blankets.  The kid is almost taller than I am and here I am trying to get him to sit on my lap and cuddle.  How in the world am I going to deal with my partner in crime growing up?  He’s such a great kid.

I hereby swear that when the time comes for him to grow up and move out, I won’t be falling to the ground, grabbing his leg and begging him to stay.  I won’t shout things like, “We’ll kick Daddy out and you can stay!”  (good thing G doesn’t read this site…lol) Than already plans to live in our basement.  Or attic.  Whichever we have when he’s older.  I tell him he can live with us til he gets married and then he has to move out.  There is no way I’m having my married kid living with me.  His wife and I would be arm wrestling nightly to see who gets to feed him. ;)  Not really.  I hope that eventually I’ll teach Than to be independent and productive.  He’s already edging towards that, despite how much I hinder the process.

It’ll all work out right in the end.

Did I mention that I forbid him to marry until he’s 40?  I will be nearing 80 by that point….

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